Ma'ayan Bar
Ma'ayan was born on 23 February 1958, to Asaf Salvi, a founding member of the kibbutz, and Tamar, a Holocaust survivor, who was particularly active in the community. Ma'ayan was their third child, born after her brother Amit, and her sister, Idit. Ma'ayan grew up in the days when children slept in communal children’s houses. First, she was in the ‘Kalanit’ kindergarten and, later, in the "Kitat Rotem". Like her siblings, she was a member of the Be’eri swim team. But while Amit and Edith were ‘well-behaved’, Ma'ayan was a rebel as a child. She did not like school, and often ended up slamming doors; her rebellious nature often made things difficult for her parents.
Nevertheless, Ma'ayan always made sure to attend the family’s four o’clock teatime every day, and partook of the standard menu of bread, cheese, tomato, jam, and tea – and the daily dose of family cohesion. Later in her life, Ma'ayan took care of her mother Tamar with great devotion, and she maintained close relationships with her brother and her sister throughout the years, keeping up with every detail of their day-to-day lives, their friends, and, above all, her nieces, and nephews, who returned her love. Once every month or so, the three siblings would meet by themselves, and reminisce about the receding world of their childhood.
During her military service, Ma'ayan was stationed in the Southern Command Headquarters in Be’er Sheva, and in the evenings, she would return home to sleep. Immediately after the army, as is customary in the kibbutz movement, she enlisted for a voluntary, third year of service at Kibbutz Eilot, where she worked with children. On her return to Be’eri, she worked for many years as a house mother at the school. Later, she became the house mother of young adults from other kibbutzim, who came to work for a period on Be’eri, often to save up money for a post-army trip. Ma'ayan also worked in the clothing warehouse, and managed the Kibbutz members’ club.
In October 1983, Ma'ayan married Yuval Bar, and the story of how they met is mentioned later. Meanwhile, the kibbutz had already transitioned to new sleeping arrangements for children, who now slept at home with their families, rather than in the communal children’s houses. Thus, Ma'ayan and Yuval’s children, Tom, Moran, Noi, and Itai grew up sleeping at home. As a mother, and having been rebellious in her youth, Ma'ayan understood her children’s need for independence and, although certain boundaries of what was permitted and what was forbidden were always clearly defined, her immediate response to their requests was always “yes,” or “everything is fine,” or “we’ll do it and then see.” And when Itai wanted to get a tattoo, she said: “Why not? Maybe I’ll get one too…”.
In the early 1990s, when the children were still young, Ma'ayan and Yuval became the so- called adoptive parents of Keren Alankri, who came to live on the kibbutz without her birth family as a "yaldat hutz". Keren took on the role of ‘big sister’. Their relationship continued even after Keren left the kibbutz and had her own children, who are like grandchildren to Ma'ayan and Yuval.
Ma'ayan was a happy and optimistic person. Every meeting with her began with a cup of coffee. She also enjoyed spending time in local cafes and in Be’er Sheva, and Tel Aviv. On the kibbutz, she liked to walk around barefoot, in bright, floral dresses, that matched her orange hair, and her cheerfully painted nails. Kibbutz members were used to seeing her walking barefoot along the paths with a stroller, smiling happily in her colourful dresses. Ma'ayan retired at the age of 62, a young, barefoot grandmother, who enjoyed devoting herself to caring for her six grandchildren, and eagerly awaited the birth of her seventh – a granddaughter. Her home was like a second home to Or, Ziv, Zohar, Klil, Binayah, and Sinai.
The romance between Ma'ayan and Yuval began in Be’eri, where they studied in parallel classes - Ma'ayan in ‘Rotem’, and Yuval in ‘Alon,’ where Tamar was the housemother. Yuval’s adoptive parents were close friends of Tamar and Asaf. But it was only after their discharge from the army that the love between Ma'ayan and Yuval blossomed, when they were both living in the young adults’ neighbourhood. Ma'ayan’s cat climbed a tree and was afraid to come down. Yuval, who was an expert at climbing trees, came to her rescue – and ever since, all members of the family are cat lovers.
At their wedding, Ma'ayan was in her eighth month of pregnancy and wore a huge wedding dress. She was focused on creating a warm and cozy home, and on food and baking. Yuval took care of technical and financial matters, while she encouraged going out to have fun. He provided research and depth, and was involved in recycling. She liked to shop. Out of their differences, they wove a complete world together, and countless fine threads bound them together in a close relationship.
Both Ma'ayan and Yuval loved to travel, in Israel and abroad. They especially loved Greece and the Greek islands. But they were the ultimate ‘kibbutzniks.’ They never left, nor even considered leaving Be’eri, despite the frequent rocket attacks and the military operations in response – whether they were limited or more major, and not even whenever the security situation escalated. It was their home, the safest place in the world. Their love for Be’eri was great, but even greater was their love for each other, and it defined them in life and in death.
On Saturday, October 7th, they died together. Their memory will be carried by their children, their grandchildren, and by all of us.
May their memory be blessed.
